Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
