do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
The best revenge is premature balding
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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