Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Drunk walkin through police station. America
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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