Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
