She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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