I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
