Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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