I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
