lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
