I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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