I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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