Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Randomize
