i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
