I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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