I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
