I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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