i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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