Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
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