Sacagawea was the original milf.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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