I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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