we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Sorry about my life...
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
