You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
