that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize