You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
It's official drugs can't kill me
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
