Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
