I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Randomize
