1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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