i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
They took my balls.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Randomize
