So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
