you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
