At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
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