well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
