Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
