Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
