so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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