I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Someone shattered a urinal.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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