Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
