So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
