You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize