The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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