i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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