Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Holy shit dude........stairs
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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