problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
