I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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