I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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