no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
