And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
