She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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