I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
This baby is an asshole
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
