So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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