With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You're a waste of cheezeits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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