I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
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It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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