Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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