Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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