Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
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