WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
