Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
