I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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