I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
