sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
