piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
